Breaking the Cycle: Nato’s Journey to Positive Change

“I knew I needed help.
I didn’t want to keep living like that.” 

Calmer communication with his tamariki, stronger self-control, and a firm commitment to living without violence.

These are just some of the positive changes Nato has embraced since completing the Te Whare Tāne Non-Violence Programme in 2025. His journey reflects a powerful shift toward reflection, accountability, and building safer, more supportive relationships within his whānau.

Proudly he says he can approach situations with calmness and reflection, explaining, “I think about the outcome now. I’m not reacting how I used to. I stop and remember what I learned.”
He says these changes have strengthened his relationships and created a safer, more supportive environment for his whānau.

I wasn’t alone

One of the most powerful aspects of the programme was the opportunity to connect with other tāne who had faced similar challenges. He shared that “being able to relate with the other men about violence in relationships helped me realise I wasn’t alone.”

“The safe space to kōrero openly allowed me to reflect on my experiences and learn from others, reinforcing kaupapa Māori values of whanaungatanga and manaakitanga.”

Through the programme, he developed new ways to communicate, especially with his children and family. “I talk calmer with my kids and my whānau. I think before I act and have better self-control.”

He believes these skills have helped rebuild trust and strengthen family connections.

I didn’t want to keep living like that

His motivation to join the programme came from recognising how his upbringing influenced his behaviour. Growing up with a violent father impacted his own relationships. “I knew I needed help. I didn’t want to keep living like that.”

He now holds firm beliefs about the harm violence causes for tamariki. Reflecting on his own childhood, he is determined to break that cycle. His journey reflects ongoing growth, healing, and a commitment to ensuring his tamariki are nurtured, loved, and supported to thrive within their whānau and hapori.